Just when you thought it was safe to open the door. A pair of zooted out zonkeys party with a pizza demon until the green olive-sized goblin blows his top and bails town.
I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into with this 11 minute short film, and I certainly wasn’t expecting the pizza monster to speak German, but this cleverly cobbled together film school era trash has more creative electricity flowing through its pepperoni than some of the other sloppy creature feature throw backs I’ve endured over the last couple years.
I guess what I’m trying to say as nicely as possible is…
Halloween Monsterpizza is better than Frankie Freako.
Perhaps I say that just to visibly rise the ire of Freako adjacent Letterboxd lonelies who like to jump into comments and tell me I drool whenever their beloved FrankenGlob is demoralized by a palm full of pithy words bespoke like kidney stones.
I didn’t really do any kind of deep dish dive into the saucey Ocktoberfiends who cooked up this underwhelming slice of Halloween Monsterpizza.
There’s really not much here, but it did illicit a couple laughs in its decaminute runtime. Something Freako failed to with 8 full decaminutes of practical puppet magicry.
We meet our two heros in a papermaché den surrounded by crepe streams and Dollar Tree lighting. As the language was in German, I had to read subtitles fast to catch up.
I think they want to go see an all-night horr-or-thon, where they’ll watch 76 deaths in 77 minutes, or some such shiz? It doesn’t really matter. But they keep breaking the fourth wall against jokes that have no legacy resting inside my spinal column. Like they’re trying to christen a shipwrecked dingy with skark-chewed oars. Never gonna float in these waters, pal.
They both give me a knowing shrug like I should know what they’re talking about.
I don’t.
It’s inside jokes for a fan base I’m not sure exists, but it must somewhere? Right? Someone help me out here.
An argument breaks out over who’ll drive. The gnarly dude is drunk and continuing to drink Kentucky tuxedo juice. The gnaelier dude wants to get blitzed at the theater, but has a busted headlight, and is afraid of German police pulling him over. Maybe I would be too?
These rudes should just stay home and listen to hold music on their landline phone.
Some drugs are snorted off a glass table top somewhere along the pair’s shanked party route.
Then the door knocks…
It’s the pizza dude with a pie neither of them ordered. I would have sent that goo platter back to the bowels of Hades, where it obviously oozed out of. But these wanky duders pay for it, and are handed a little hubcap with cheese.
Opening the box at their coffee table (I think they’re roommates, but they also be wet as hell, so who’s to judge?) they are confronted by a goblin perched atop their thin crust supreme.
From here it turns into your typical little monster chaos train, as the two buffoons shimmy along with the Monsterpizza. Drinking and doing drugs. I think there’s even some swinging from chandeliers.
This. is. A party!
After a couple minutes, it all gets to be a bit too much for old jitza face. Her head explodes in a plume of smokey glitter. Speaking of glitter, watch this short I did on sparkly vampires before you read the rest of my review…
Somehow the gnarlier dude gets wrapped up in some plastic Barbie shenanigans, as he’s force to fight them before decapitating a gaggle of ketchup filled plastic heads.
Like I said, it’s way more clever than Freako ever let on.
I think Monsterpizza is just a deteriating Boglin toy they found at the bottom of a Sozialkaufhaus bin. It’s all covered in snot and lint, looking like it saw its last good day back in 1987.
For an eleven minute short on YouTube, you could do a hellavulot worse than Halloween Monsterpizza. You could be watching Frankie Freako. Egh. I’m giving this one a thick old Detroit style recommend. If you got Hoagie lined up for any kind of Halloween movie binge-a-thon with friends, throw this on and get the party started right. You can go geeze through it over on YouTube right now, cheezers.
